Where am I? What am I doing? I feel as if floating in the soft air, no pain, even no sense. Through the darkness, I can see a faint light. However, I feel very safe, like a baby in its mother's womb?
     I wake up, brilliant rays of light piercing my eyes. At the moment, I am stunned by everything before my eyes.  Rivers,like floating ribbons, are embellished with green willows and red peach blossoms. Mountains, shrouded in mist, are surrounded by the flowing water, pure and blue. All these compose a beautiful landscape painting, and I feel as if I had come into it. The wonderful feeling of being alone, the twittering of birds at dawn and the sight of the rising sun shining on trees make me forget everything. I am so intoxicated by the breathtaking beauty that I no longer feel hungry, thirsty or sleepy, free of all desires. My spirit is going outside my body. I talk, I play, I watch and I feel with my soul. I step on the ground and breathe the air. Everything is so clean and fresh.  Jade-green willows sway in the breeze, trailing their branches over the lotus carpeted lake. The wet grass gives out a delicate fragrance. I walk along the cobble stone path for a long long time. Time stops still!
     The beauty of the place is lasting. However, I begin to feel bored. The memory of the past life, full of challenges, competitions, laugh, pain and love haunts me.  I used to fight against fate every day. I enjoyed success after hundreds of failure; I experienced the  profound sadness at  the departure  of my best friend; I felt the heart beating when I talked to my first lover; I treasured the leisure time when I got everything done. But now,I am not the master of my own fate. If only time would fly back so that I could carefully savour and contemplate the beauty of true life!
     Everyone is pursuing perfectness.  However, if the whole world is perfect, what's the meaning of being a human? Maybe take a stroll, get bored, then?
     I love the saying that "I long to alleviate the evil, but I can not, I too suffer."
     Paradise is paradise.
     Life is just life.
简  评
    本文中，作者凭借着丰富的想像力，描述了他的一次天堂之旅。作者心目中的天堂像一个世外桃源：杨柳和桃花装饰着绸带般的河流，山水环绕，湖面上点缀着莲花朵朵。作者沉浸在美景中，忘却了一切烦恼和欲望。然而，作者渐渐地对这种没有挑战、竞争，没有欢乐与痛苦的生活感到了厌烦。作者最终体会到：在这个并不完美的世界中，种种悲欢离合，成功与失败才是真实的生活，真实的美。
    本文非常富有哲理性，表现了作者对人生的思考，对生活的热爱。在写作技巧方面，几句写景的句子结构平衡，用词优美：Rivers，like floating ribbons，are embellished with green willows and red peach blossoms．Mountains，shrouded in mist，are surrounded by the flowing water，pure and blue．此外，文章的句型丰富，长短句结合运用，显示了一定的写作功底。
    (点评教师：黄莺)